And it all comes Tumbling Down

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you know how it is: we have "day jobs," too

Yes, we know that, and that is why I am disappointed that the decision was made to leave versus stick it out. It was assumed that we were all on the same page as we signed our lives away and when things got tough many of the students ran but we never thought it would go as far as faculty. We all have day jobs, we have families, hobbies, and affiliations that seem to take the back seat, because we knew what we were working towards.

I wish a person would..... I work 50 sometimes 60 hours in a week at work, come home and dedicate another 30hrs a week, just to stay afloat (and I am barely doing that). This just hurts my feelings.

It's very discouraging when you hear/read that. That sends the message to me that the long nights, lack of sleep, hair loss, face break-outs, ear infections.... all of which are stress induced....isn't worth it, or even appreciated.

What kind of example is that?

Maybe there's something else going on because that's the shottiest excuse I have heard in the last year and a half.

you are becoming a leader; these experiences are a growing pain

What do I see as my next steps for personal and professional growth?  
I see myself molding myself into a better subject matter expert, working on my patience, and learning not to stress every little detail.  I see myself learning to say no more and learning that it's ok for someone else to take the lead and letting folks know that you don't have the bandwidth.  I have to start setting time for myself. I have realized the importance on making time for me. Realizing that, brought me to the conclusion that I don’t have the time to do EVERYTHING. I was taking on so much cause I could merely not sleep or skip a meal. In a discussion with my mentor, he told me life “isn’t that serious” and that I couldn’t live my life like everything was due at 9 am.

I want to see myself exercising effective leadership. How do I balance being constructive versus being destructive and annoying? There were a lot of times during this project where I felt as though that my teammates found me annoying only because I wanted to make sure that we are all on the same page and that folks are comfortable and feel included.  But when do I push forward or step aside? There are certain suggestions that I have made to my team but received push back on, I tried to make my case but I felt like I was getting nowhere. In the end we discovered that there was some truth to what I was saying.  I need to know how to balance this, or just how to cope because it has happened in the past and is bound to happen again, this is a part of life. But there is also the problem of getting my point across and for folks to clearly understand what I am saying and why I feel that it is important.

With that said I also see the next step as continuing to work on my assertiveness. It isn’t something that I think that I have to work on at work but it is something that I have to work on when it comes to school. I feel like I need to be creative and think outside of the box to get the information that I need. This project proved to be very difficult in that regard; working with international countries.

What strategies will I employ to address my next steps for growth?  How will I engage the faculty, my colleagues, my client, and/or other in my effort to grow?

I have solicited the help of others and am constantly looking for feedback. These are also topics that I am working with my mentors on.  At LM, I have begun to volunteer myself for stretch assignments; assignments that may seem out of the ordinary for an HR Professional. I am continually putting myself in more situations that require me to present, lead projects, and work with high-level management. I want to be comfortable with presenting and addressing questions and concerns. I believe that I am working towards bringing the best out of my team members and providing them opportunities to stretch and challenge themselves. As my boss said “you are becoming a leader; these experiences are a growing pain”

In regards to the faculty and my colleagues, I plan on using them as a sounding board and a source for constructive feedback. I look towards my clients for direction so that I can create a strategy on how to best provide the best product/service.

With The Berrette Family Foundation, LM2 helped me think about funding. I started looking in to Venture Capitalist and found a group called Novack. I have contacted them to discuss their strategy and reflect on how this can help me. I plan on utilizing Ambi, who has volunteered to help me with this project, in building the mentoring & internship program and also handling the finances. I have solicited two entrepreneurs as guidance in regards to the social aspect. How do I put myself out there? How to I open up and get the resources I need? I am also utilizing some faculty from the School of Ed, in terms of doing my due diligence and assuring that I am covering my basis in terms of the Education world.

My uncle has started an organization called “Haiti: A Fresh Start” where he is in the works of creating a planned community with homes, a school, bank, store, and bed and breakfast. In only 5 months he has accomplished so much, I will look to him for overall guidance on strategy and approach. He has infiltrated every social media that I can think of and he has a team of folks, even pro-bono legal counsel. My uncle’s mind is constantly churning and I believe that he will provide plenty in regards to strategy.

I don't have time for school...

Yes, this is how I feel. I have come to the conclusion that I do not have time for school. There's just too much to do and so little time. I still don't know how I am awake. Nights of 5 Hour Energy Shots and AMP Energy Drinks, are catching up to me.  I seem to repeatedly get "volunteered" for various stretch assignments. I have learned to say no, but I have learned that it doesn't mean much, it just means I get an extra pair of hands to help me.


One positive stride..... I am making some kind of dent into my benchmarking task. I am partially awaiting for the day where I don't have learning modules anymore, they are starting to give me anxiety.

The mixture of work, project and learning module have left me in a space where I can't even concentrate on my non-profit. This isn't a happy place for me.

Employee Recognition

About a week and a half ago, I worked an INSANE schedule. I worked 60 hrs in 4 days. WHY? because I had a corporate deliverable to debrief my management team on. So a few postings ago, I might have touched on my "communication issues" with a particular co-worker. I am not sure if I handled the situation in the best wat, but we got positive results. There was one point where I decided to take matters in to my own hands because I felt like the ship was sinking, and it was sinking FAST! In the end I felt bad for taking over and I talked to each team member individually about it. One team member gave me a card that said "You're a Rockstar, Bernice, Thanks so much for your help and guidance on the CSS. It would have not beed a success without you! Thanks for being such a great buddy."

The other team member wasn't so enthused. But she was cordial about the situation. She's older and was supposed to be the lead on this effort. So I guess I stepped on her toes. Personally I am not going to deliver something that I know is absolutely wrong to management, when I am 100% sure what they are looking for. And the thing is, management knows that I know what needs to be done, so in a way if I hadn't stepped on toes, we would have been sent back to the drawing board. There's no need for that. That's not efficient. The lead is the person who works based on expperience. She gains her knowledge on trial and error. But when you are new and you have a deliverable that's as inportant as what we had, there is no time to test out the waters. Get it done!

End result (this is in regards to the final deliverable - powerpoint package, information take-away binder):

"I just can’t say enough good things about the results. They were absolutely right on track and I just saw so much growth in everyone involved. It was just fantastic. Thanks so much Bernice for hanging in there with the team, for being such an agile learner and team member! You are just awesome! Lockheed Martin is so fortunate to have you with us."

It came with an e-card that said: "Individual Commitment to a group effort is what makes a team work. Outstanding Execution and results delivery for the Customer Satisfaction Survey project! Thank You!"

So apparently we set a standard with the presentation we gave and management wants to recognize us in front of the department and wanted me to look at different ways to recognize the team.

I feel good today.

The Type A Personality: Stress Junkie

My new knowledge is my theory!

This project thus far has allowed me to work efficiently on a team (well.. in my opinion). I realized that I was burdened with a lot and was able to delegate tasks and was even able to appoint myself a co-project manager.

This is a difficult project because my Type A personality has been very present. Especially in the beginning of the project. The past 2 weeks have been a tad bit slow due to a number of reasons at work but I am trying to  catch up right now (literally, right NOW) with school, work, and also the non-profit which is also tied to my Focus on Self. But wants reassuring is that my team believes in me and supports me in this journey.

Supposedly, it has been present my whole life....the whole, Type A thing.  It was my  co-worker who said "you have a VERY dominant Type A personality. VERY dominant." I was offended at first.  But I guess it's something that I have to embrace and nurture.  One of my friends, who knows me very well, confirmed this statement and said that I am Type A when it comes to EVERYTHING in my life. I thought it was only as it pertains to my full-time job.  Am I aggressive, direct, have an urgency for time, impatience, competitive, controlling, a workaholic, ambitious, business-like, have difficulty relaxing, driven by self imposed deadlines, and unhappy about delays? "YES! Oh my God Yes." he said. Okay Okay, I guess I agree, except for the competitive one. I HATE competition. It makes me uneasy and I always feel like I am going to fail. I shy away from ANY type of competition. Even 2 of my teammates verified this ans even called me "crazy :)"

I am learning to effectively communicate with my manager, who happens to be the Director of a major department in the corporation. She commended me as an emerging leader as I have had a few struggles with a corporate team I was leading. But she sees me trying to juggle my projects but also be inclusive and genuine. She sees that my interests lie in activities that are broad and stretching and is giving me the wiggle room to lighten up on departmental activities and focus more on corporate teams.  I am experimenting on ways to influence folks in my department. With one person, I gave insight, gave examples, got the input of others, re-phrased my suggestions.....all of that didn't work, so I took over. And you know what? That one worked. This person seems to learn based on experience. So to see the reaction of the customer, and it was a positive one? It seemed to be: yeah, Bernice knows what she is talking about. So after 3 months of fighting, that's all it took. Type A at it's best.

What's been difficult is getting through to the correct person in these companies. For example, Microsoft has been giving me the run around through to what is now 3 people, but I am still pushing through. What I think that is not on our side is time. I had a similar project for my employer that took us 9 months to complete. I expressed this to my team when we first got our project charge. Here's a thought! What if our Learning Modules were ACTUALLY tied to our project? I guess I just wished we had more time.

My team, as other teams, is at a point where certain members as contemplating the easiest way of getting  the project "done." The other teams have self-selected parts of the charge they plan on delivering, versus what was asked of us by the faculty back in Baltimore. So I am assuming this is okay with the faculty, seeing as though that is supposedly okay with the client. So with less than 2 months left, now the pressure is on for us to the same. But I think that it is very difficult to do this because every part of the charge plays on another part of the charge. What are we going to do?

In other news, taking from what I learned in the beginning of the project, I wrote a proposal contract to a potential mentor for my non-profit, The Berrette Family Foundation, Inc. He complimented me on my professionalism then wrote me this email:

"Ms. Innocent,

I have received your e-mail regarding establishing our mentorship relation and read its contents. I greatly appreciate your assertiveness and professionalism upon the engagement of this mutually beneficial relationship and agree to the terms expressed therein. I look forward to continuing to develop a strong professional relationship as the many days, weeks, months and years come to pass. "

Kudos to me!

www.ediplomat.com

Brazil



The People

Brazilians are friendly and free-spirited, with an incredible zest for life. They are very risk-oriented and very creative. Predominantly Roman Catholic (73%), families are large and often include extended family members. Family, educational and socioeconomic backgrounds are important to Brazilians.

Meeting and Greeting

Take time to greet and say good-bye to each person present.

Women kiss twice -- once on each cheek -- if they are married. Single women add a third kiss.

Body Language

Physical contact is part of simple communication. Touching arms, elbows and backs is very common and acceptable. Brazilians also stand extremely close to one another. Do not back away.

The "O.K." sign is considered very rude and vulgar; the "thumbs up" gesture is used for approval.

Wiping your hands together means "it doesn’t matter."

Clicking the tongue and shaking the head indicates disagreement or disapproval.

Corporate Culture

Your personality and ability to establish strong personal and business relationships is important to the success of your business endeavor.

Brazilians will do anything for friends, hence the expression: "For friends, everything. For enemies, the law." Relationships are more important than a legal document in business.

Meetings are conducted at a casual, unhurried pace. Don’t get right down to business. Engage in conversation first.

**Doing business with Brazilians requires face to face communication. You will be able to do only limited business by phone, fax or e-mail**

Some facts may not be completely accurate during the early stages of business negotiations. Brazilians expect some initial hype and will passionately argue their points, slowly and grudgingly making concessions. Try to maintain consistency in your negotiating team.

Always get a written agreement with starting date, time of delivery, payment details, etc. Bill in advance.

Presentations should be expressive and have some flair.

Stay at a first-class hotel. Appearances count.

Hire a Brazilian contact (a despachante) from your industry to introduce you to the right people. He or she will be invaluable to your success.

Hire a local accountant and a lawyer to help you with contract issues. Brazilians may resent an outside legal representative.

Make appointments two weeks in advance. Don’t "drop in" on business or government offices without an appointment.

Do not plan to make a business visit or schedule any appointments during holidays or festivals.

Dining and Entertainment

Always entertain in a prestigious restaurant.

Be prepared for lengthy meals (two hours or more for lunch). Do not discuss business during meals unless your host brings it up. Business may occasionally be discussed at dinner in São Paulo or Rio.

Brazilians always wash their hands before eating and rarely touch food with their hands. Use a knife and fork for everything, even fruit. Always use a napkin while eating or drinking.

Using toothpicks in public is not acceptable unless you cover your mouth with your other hand.

When inviting Brazilians to dinner or a party, do not suggest that your guests bring food or drink. Do not expect them to arrive on time, and never indicate a time that the party will "end."

To beckon a waiter, hold up the index finger of your right hand and quietly say "Garçon." To request the check, say "A conta, por favor." Waiters generally don’t bring checks until they are requested.

Dress

Appearance counts. Your clothing will reflect upon you and your company.

Brazilian women dress "sexy" in all situations, whether business, formal or casual. Foreign women who want to blend in should avoid wearing overly formal, conservative attire.

Shoes should be stylish, polished and well-kept. Nails should be manicured.

In business situations, men should wear conservative dark suits, shirts and ties. Three piece suits indicate executives; two piece suits indicate office workers. Women should wear feminine dresses, suits and pantsuits and avoid "dressing like a man."

Gifts

Gifts are not important in establishing a business relationship, and people won’t expect gifts in the first few contacts. A very expensive gift may be viewed as a bribe.

Present a gift at a social meeting, not during a formal business meeting.

Give good quality whiskey, wine, coffee table books and name brand pens. Gifts for your counterpart’s children will be appreciated.

Send flowers before or after visiting someone’s home for dinner.

Helpful Hints

Don’t assume that the "self-made" businessperson is admired in Brazil. Inherited wealth and a good family background are much more desirable.

Brazilians are extremely casual about time. Being ten to fifteen minutes late in business is normal, and twenty to thirty minutes late is not unusual. Be on time for a formal meeting, but prepare to wait for your Brazilian colleagues.

Soccer (football), family, Brazil’s beautiful beaches and the country’s rapid growth are all appropriate conversation topics. Politics, poverty, religion, Argentina (considered a rival) and the deforestation of Brazil are not. Personal topics such as age, salary and marital or job status are also unacceptable.

Brazilians are expressive and passionate conversationalists. Be prepared to be interrupted.

Don’t smoke in public. Federal law bans smoking in public places.

Don’t refer to Brazilians as Latins.

Especially for Women

• As women increasingly join the workforce, machismo has become less common. Younger, better-educated women have values that correspond closely to those of North American women. Women are well-accepted and are prominent in education, medicine and journalism and as small business owners.

• Brazilian women are very aggressive, in both their business and personal lives.

• Foreign women will usually have no problem doing business in Brazil. However, some people are still conservative in this regard.

• Be very careful not to ruin a business deal by being cool and too professional.

• It is traditional to invite someone for a drink after work. This is not a come-on.

Especially for Men

• Brazilian women can be very aggressive romantically and forward to the point of harassment. Don’t be surprised if you are in a restaurant or nightclub and a woman sends you a note asking for your phone number — even if you are with your wife or girlfriend. Foreign men traveling to Brazil should be very cautious when dealing with Brazilian women. If you don’t want the attention, be cordial but keep your distance. Don’t be overly friendly.